Discovering the Joy of Being Still and Other Thoughts on “When The Psychology Professor Met The Minister”

By Judy Parker

Old Forge Pond, Old Forge,NY ©2020 by Kathleen Spatuzzi Photography and used with permission

I feel an overwhelming need to share just how much Dave Roberts’ and Patty Furino’s book When The Psychology Professor Met The Minister has impacted me. The effect is so profound that I have already sent copies to two dear people who have suffered loss. I plan to send more to others whom I believe will benefit from the message in this book. I believe in the healing power and comfort of this book.

Whether the loss is of a child as Dave and my brother experienced, loss of a mother, father, sibling, nephew, friend, or a beloved dog, the hurt and loneliness can become almost unbearable. This book gives me hope and strengthens my faith that death is not the end of our existence. The effect on my perspective has been far-reaching and I want others to know about the peace, comfort, and joyful expectations this book has brought me. With my existing faith I believed I would be reunited with loved ones in the future but now I know I don’t have to wait until then. I am learning that I can make my own connections with them. I am even discovering the joy of being still,  which is something new for me. During those still moments more peace comes to me than when I rushed hither and yon for years,  looking for the next great thing.  Practices like Dave’s “Pieces of Me” provides more opportunity for the growth we all need to be truly happy.

I think about messages that I previously perceived as mere random occurrences. I now realize that life is not just a series of coincidences. I accept the fact that I can’t control a lot of life,  and that’s ok. Instead of being fearful about what the future will bring, I now eagerly anticipate the gifts of presence from loved ones who have transitioned, in the here and now. Walking with spiritual awareness as advocated in this book allows me to not only be receptive to change but to actually look forward to what life can bring me. I know it won’t always be rosy, but I have faith that the good will far outweigh the bad. I can now envision a future filled with wonder and possibility.

Dave and Patty’s book helped me believe that we really don’t lose our loved ones but develop a new connection with them.  I am so happy that I don’t have to abandon my core beliefs but can be empowered to develop a deeper understanding of life’s mysteries. What a marvelous thought that we can learn from so many different sources! In fact this book helped me learn to tap into many more resources than I could ever have imagined before. Who would have thought we could learn so much from Native Americans, animals, people who are put in our life path like Patty for Dave, and even random strangers whose paths cross ours. I love the fact that you don’t have to be a “gifted” individual to develop a higher awareness of life. We just need to believe .

Another great benefit from this book is that I now have a large reference list of material in which I can delve even deeper and, in the process, explore myriad avenues of thought. Neil Peart’s “healing road” to which the book refers is not just a healing road, but an elevation to a higher life experience. I see more clearly that life is a wonderful gift that keeps on giving if we are receptive and open to connecting to something greater than ourselves.

Dave and Patty express to the reader that our individual paths are not like anyone else’s and that there is no one “right” way to live. I believe this book has started me on what I hope is a never-ending road of discovery. I am excited about looking at the world with wider eyes and without fear of what I may find. I feel joy in reaching out to others and sharing my newfound knowledge. As Dave said, the power of community to work through grief is real. In the process of sharing in our community’s growth and supporting each other we can make this a better world for everyone. I am more attuned to opportunities to “help” others not just in big ways but even in simple acts like smiling. I want this to become a part of who I am.

My heartfelt thanks go to Dave and Patty for this book and for my new outlook on life and death.

About The Author

Judy Parker was born on July 30,1951 in rural Williamsburg County, South Carolina.  As a middle child of 11 in a farming family she learned at an early age what hard work really meant.  Judy attended Winthrop College, in Rock Hill, South Carolina from August 1969 until December 1970, after which time she transferred to the University of South Carolina(USC) in Columbia.  Judy earned a Bachelor of Science in Education (mathematics) in 1974 and a Master of Mathematics in 1977 from USC.

Judy’s first career was as a mathematics teacher at junior and senior high schools in Columbia ,South Carolina from August 1977 until January 1983. After teaching, she transitioned to the field of Information Technologies. From January 1983 until her retirement in May 2013, her positions included: insurance and real estate computer systems installation and troubleshooting, data systems analyst, instructor of insurance principles, system software, and computer systems problem management.  She enjoyed her career and found immense satisfaction in her work.

She is divorced and the mother of a 34-year-old daughter. After retirement, Judy had a little difficulty in figuring out what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. Because of her passion for the outdoors, she quickly decided to use her free time to hike in state and national parks.  Judy is currently exploring the idea of buying an RV and “traveling this grand land of ours. “

8 Weeks Later


Photo by Jana Sabeth on Unsplash

Reflections

It has been approximately two months since the book, When The Psychology Professor Met The Minister was released. Pat and I are pleased to have heard from grieving individuals who have taken comfort in the fact that they can be empowered to maintain continued bonds with their loved ones. One young woman told us that she and her mother were reading the book and planned to discuss it. Another parent told us that she was reading it together with her college age daughter. One of the outcomes that Pat and I hoped for was that the book would inspire multigenerational discussions about how the integration of psychology and spiritual practices could empower present and future generations to transcend life challenges. We had hoped that people would resonate with the message we are trying to convey.

Though we are humbled by the positive response to our book, thus far, we both had to confront our own fears and doubts(e.g. our shadow selves) during the writing process.

We’ve both had to look at the idea that our personal stories are now out there for colleagues, students and family to see. It has brought a sense of vulnerability to our private lives. In fact, prior to our book being published, I had a dream of being naked and alone on a dark city street. To me, that was the ultimate and symbolic representation of being vulnerable. Sharing my spiritually transformative experience after 10 years, was risky for me because of how my science based colleagues in academia would perceive my experience. But I hold my colleagues in high regard because they are very clear with what they believe. And there is room in this world for individuals with different beliefs to coexist peacefully. If we choose to witness rather than judge another person’s beliefs, we integrate certain aspects of them into our core belief system, if we so choose. So I cast any fear and doubt I had aside and “completed the mission” with Pat. Besides, I was never really in total control of the writing process, Spirit truly inspired the content of this book.

Empowerment and The Mississippi Freedom Trail

Photo Credit: Patty Furino

The work that I did with Pat was not traditional grief work. Pat empowered me to use the wisdom she shared through not only my daughter, but my other deceased ancestors and her wise spirit guides to facilitate the development of a clear and peaceful perspective that would help me look at the world differently. She helped me peck at the shadows of my past so I could find clarity in the present and create the future of my own creation. What Pat does is probably best described as Spiritual Counseling, and she treats it as a ministry. Her guidance helps individuals to achieve the greatest level of awareness and empowers them to develop a sense of self-efficacy or belief that their actions can have a positive impact on the world around them.

I had previously attempted to convince Pat of our need to write a book about my experience and what I learned during our marathon conversations. But Pat always resisted, because she was always very private, not wanting to share her level of awareness openly with the world, for fear of being misconstrued. But as was the case with me, Pat cast all of that doubt and fear aside because she also knew that Spirit was in control. Writing a book for Pat, was a HUGE accomplishment, because she was never one to sit still, let alone behind a computer typing hours upon hours and day after day. Pat has always wanted to be among the people, helping those who crossed her path, just as the Masters did. She wanted to do her work quietly.

Pat is ready to get back to work on ground with people. In May of this year, Pat will go back to Bryant’s Grocery in Money, Mississippi, to honor Emmett Till and his courage. She wants to create a second butterfly garden just as she did 10 years ago in response to the emotion that ran through her in the 24 hours following the ceremony at Bryant’s Grocery, the first marker on the Mississippi Freedom Trail.

There is a Season

What we continue to notice is that not only are our lives shifting and expanding, but also those of the generations of humans that follow us on this planet. Our children grew up with technology being introduced, this next generation is growing up with technology being the main focus of their education for an entire year. When the youngest thinkers reach their adolescent years there will be another generation that will bring evolution and change to the way we perceive our existence on this planet. As Pat has described it, these are the signs that we are in The Great Conjunction of The Aquarian Age. A time where peace, inclusivity and tolerance can be our guiding principles.

There is a 1960’s folk song written by Pete Seeger and performed by the Byrds, that came to mind as we wrote these last lines.

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

Pete Seeger